Thursday, January 29, 2009
i duno how to describe how i'm feeling
i know its my fault to get irritated and impatient
i'm sorry
but i din mean it
i mean imagine if you're concentrating and this person down here is always talking to you talking talking
then of course you will ask him/her to hey can you like stop i'll do it myself and you can just leave things there
i'm not disrespectful
i'm more then grateful for all your help
i'm more than happy to have parents like you
many times your words hurt me but i cried behind closed doors i cried behind your back
like how i'm breaking down in my study room now while you're in the living room/toilet
knowing NOTHING
many times i tell myself even if i'm not well-liked or anything i have the greatest parents on earth so its ok
you can show your damn black face to everyone at home while you're sweeping the floor getting irritated by us
i noe i cant ask why cant i
because i'm younger than you
i'm a child
you're the adult
you're always right
i think you should be glad i'm an okay girl
i'm not that good
but i'm not that bad either!
I dun stay out always
i dun quarrel with you always
i dun do alot of things that others do
everytime there's dinners or outings
i feel bad leaving either one of you alone
so i'll not go
and now i'm deemed as anti-social by some ppl
i'm not putting the blame on you
because those were my choices
i made these choices
yes so its my responsibility
but do you understand?
could you be more understanding?
to understand the stress that i'm upon
that i'm not catching up in school work nowadays
that there's a million and one things to do and i cant seem to complete them all
i know what sandra will say if i tell her these
i have to communicate with my parents
but sometimes
communicating with them is useless
looks like im in for a cold war for the next couple of days or even weeks
they sure want an apology from me
and next few weeks are the toughest with orientation and my event
i thought i had support back from home
but now
i feel lost
i know its my fault to get irritated and impatient
i'm sorry
but i din mean it
i mean imagine if you're concentrating and this person down here is always talking to you talking talking
then of course you will ask him/her to hey can you like stop i'll do it myself and you can just leave things there
i'm not disrespectful
i'm more then grateful for all your help
i'm more than happy to have parents like you
many times your words hurt me but i cried behind closed doors i cried behind your back
like how i'm breaking down in my study room now while you're in the living room/toilet
knowing NOTHING
many times i tell myself even if i'm not well-liked or anything i have the greatest parents on earth so its ok
you can show your damn black face to everyone at home while you're sweeping the floor getting irritated by us
i noe i cant ask why cant i
because i'm younger than you
i'm a child
you're the adult
you're always right
i think you should be glad i'm an okay girl
i'm not that good
but i'm not that bad either!
I dun stay out always
i dun quarrel with you always
i dun do alot of things that others do
everytime there's dinners or outings
i feel bad leaving either one of you alone
so i'll not go
and now i'm deemed as anti-social by some ppl
i'm not putting the blame on you
because those were my choices
i made these choices
yes so its my responsibility
but do you understand?
could you be more understanding?
to understand the stress that i'm upon
that i'm not catching up in school work nowadays
that there's a million and one things to do and i cant seem to complete them all
i know what sandra will say if i tell her these
i have to communicate with my parents
but sometimes
communicating with them is useless
looks like im in for a cold war for the next couple of days or even weeks
they sure want an apology from me
and next few weeks are the toughest with orientation and my event
i thought i had support back from home
but now
i feel lost
what we could have been, 29.1.09.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
its hard not to bother
its hard not to get hurt
sometimes i wunder if the problem all lies with me
but
i know to some extent it is
but is it all my fault?
since today
i know that im not remebered
seriously
like
when i'm missing or what
no1 cares to bother hey why i'm not there
no1 cares to update me on what's going on
and all along i thought it was just me being anti-social
yes i guess that's to some extent
but after 2dae
i realise not
becoz i'm not even inside your to invite list
maybe you thought i have never gone for any 'outings' so dun tink i would go again
but it doesnt hurt to ask rite?
and put yourselfs in my shoes luh when every1 is out there having fun and you know nothing until...
if i said i reali cant go is i realli got reason
and although yes there are times its because of acadamics
but its not all the time
i put family as my top priority
so...
ughh why do i even bother explaining to no audience
and i tink you dun need me already
you've changed
or maybe its me
or maybe the both of us
remember the things we went through the things we said
that we wanted to be best/close friends tgt as long as are alive or as long as possible?
did you forget that?
i duno
i'm sorrie if im too sensitive
but
ughh
i duno
i wan to talk to sum1!
but who can i go to?
every1 seems to have their own problems their own friends to confide in
no1 needs me
today walking behind yi hui and supanee
i realise
i'm not needed there
then the thought process continues
but i'm not gonna type them here
no i'm not
but seriously i'm not needed
i'm an insignificant freak, thanx binli&myself!
then why am i on this earth in the first place
why
why
why
hmmm...
its hard not to get hurt
sometimes i wunder if the problem all lies with me
but
i know to some extent it is
but is it all my fault?
since today
i know that im not remebered
seriously
like
when i'm missing or what
no1 cares to bother hey why i'm not there
no1 cares to update me on what's going on
and all along i thought it was just me being anti-social
yes i guess that's to some extent
but after 2dae
i realise not
becoz i'm not even inside your to invite list
maybe you thought i have never gone for any 'outings' so dun tink i would go again
but it doesnt hurt to ask rite?
and put yourselfs in my shoes luh when every1 is out there having fun and you know nothing until...
if i said i reali cant go is i realli got reason
and although yes there are times its because of acadamics
but its not all the time
i put family as my top priority
so...
ughh why do i even bother explaining to no audience
and i tink you dun need me already
you've changed
or maybe its me
or maybe the both of us
remember the things we went through the things we said
that we wanted to be best/close friends tgt as long as are alive or as long as possible?
did you forget that?
i duno
i'm sorrie if im too sensitive
but
ughh
i duno
i wan to talk to sum1!
but who can i go to?
every1 seems to have their own problems their own friends to confide in
no1 needs me
today walking behind yi hui and supanee
i realise
i'm not needed there
then the thought process continues
but i'm not gonna type them here
no i'm not
but seriously i'm not needed
i'm an insignificant freak, thanx binli&myself!
then why am i on this earth in the first place
why
why
why
hmmm...
what we could have been, 28.1.09.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
its been long since i posted!
and i'm here to annouce i'm sick again =.=
i can imagine what ke hui will say
never eat fruits and veggie hahaha
took MC 2dae
coz was feeling horrible yesterday and this morning
and yesterday the doc i wanted to see was closed
and i realised this morning she's not gonna be in until the 29th =.=
so had no choice but to see another doctor
and had to wait like 1 1/2 hours to see the doc! ZZZ
anw nevertheless i still went for h3 maths lessons at tj 2dae
coz 1st lesson not veh good to miss
i was like so early!
and the lt was like locked =.=
was stranded outside till i went to canteen to meet the rest of mj peeps
and i met alot of ppl i knew on the way =D
haha like CATHERINE!
haha for a moment i couldnt recognize her, then i was like staring at this person who just called my name LOL
sorry catherine! ahaha
but it was good to talk to her again =D
actually it was nice see-ing all the ahs ppl again
although i'm not close to them
but it has the you know ahs feeling
and it felt kinda good
many things have changed since we left ahs
i think i have change alot too
but i'm sure we all will feel familiar back in ahs, right?
lalala off to do work!
ZZ i'm a sick person and i have to pia hw and council stuffs sian! hahhaah
tata
and i'm here to annouce i'm sick again =.=
i can imagine what ke hui will say
never eat fruits and veggie hahaha
took MC 2dae
coz was feeling horrible yesterday and this morning
and yesterday the doc i wanted to see was closed
and i realised this morning she's not gonna be in until the 29th =.=
so had no choice but to see another doctor
and had to wait like 1 1/2 hours to see the doc! ZZZ
anw nevertheless i still went for h3 maths lessons at tj 2dae
coz 1st lesson not veh good to miss
i was like so early!
and the lt was like locked =.=
was stranded outside till i went to canteen to meet the rest of mj peeps
and i met alot of ppl i knew on the way =D
haha like CATHERINE!
haha for a moment i couldnt recognize her, then i was like staring at this person who just called my name LOL
sorry catherine! ahaha
but it was good to talk to her again =D
actually it was nice see-ing all the ahs ppl again
although i'm not close to them
but it has the you know ahs feeling
and it felt kinda good
many things have changed since we left ahs
i think i have change alot too
but i'm sure we all will feel familiar back in ahs, right?
lalala off to do work!
ZZ i'm a sick person and i have to pia hw and council stuffs sian! hahhaah
tata
what we could have been, 20.1.09.
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
i think the best thing that happened to me in MJ
is getting into council
and getting my TA mr owen tan
and my fellow mentees supanee yi hui and ke hui
:):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)
pictures up soon soon soon~!!!!!! (:(:(:(:
is getting into council
and getting my TA mr owen tan
and my fellow mentees supanee yi hui and ke hui
:):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)
pictures up soon soon soon~!!!!!! (:(:(:(:
what we could have been, 7.1.09.
